Saturday, March 19, 2011

The Irony of Boundaries

Yesterday someone thought I crossed their boundary by sharing something personal. At the time I did not know it was not to be shared. Emails, apologies and forgiveness ensued. But it felt so impersonal.

So I crossed their boundary again by showing up at their front door unannounced. I knew that if I called and said, "Can I stop by so we can talk?" they would have said "no."

Ironic, isn't it? I crossed a boundary to apologize for crossing a boundary.

However, some things just need to be said face to face. That person needs to see in my face that I truly regret the pain I have caused them; hear the tone of my voice when I make the apology; and see the love in my eyes that I have for them because I value them in my life.

We all put up boundaries for many reasons. They should not be permanent but moveable.  Life changes; boundaries change; and sometimes perhaps we need a nudge from our friends to get that boundary to move, even if it is just the slightest movement.

Feel free to nudge my boundaries if you feel it's necessary.

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