Sunday, February 27, 2011

Adventures in Online Dating...

I don't know why, but a couple of years ago I decided to try online dating.  For the most part it has not worked out real well.

Carl - one date and he said my name reminded him of his ex, so he didn't want to see me anymore. Yet that did not stop him from sending me political emails for the next 9 months or so. 

Bob - Wanted to do things, but only if it didn't conflict with him watching the presidential debates. Then he would continually nag me about my political point of view, which was different than his. I told him that they were my views and my feelings and he needed to respect them, as I respected his. I quit answering his phone calls.

Dan - Started off with emails back and forth. Fun at first.  Then about 1 day into getting to know each other he says (out of the blue), "I really like oral sex!"  I said, this conversation is a little too uncomfortable for me. He apologized, and we continued to email. It bothered me that he wanted to meet for dinner at his house and not someplace in between, but he insisted.  He gave me his address; I googled it.  Apparently he lives in a beautiful neighborhood, but his house is sadly lacking a lawn and everything that goes along with it.  I shared the whole story with Jon & Cheryl. Road trip! They wanted to take a drive up to Paradise to check out his place.  Yep, looked just like it did on google earth.  That evening I got home and emailed him.  I said, "I googled your address so I would know how to get to your house.  Google earth shows you don't have a lawn. I wonder how old the picture is."  His reply: "How dare you insult my lawn. I don't want to talk to you anymore. I am turning off my computer now. Good-bye."  What? Is he really taking his toys and going home?  I think I dodged the bullet on that online date. 

Marco - Now there was someone I thought I could have a connection with. When we first made contact online he was getting ready to go on a cruise and said we would talk after he got back.  Perfect! So taking the information he gave me, I googled him. He was retired from the California Dept of Education and his specialty was drop out prevention.  Awesome! We both worked in public education! He decided to make contact with me while on the cruise, and when he got to his vacation home in Oregon we talked on the phone (why did he only call me at 6 a.m. or 11 p.m.?) and sent text messages and flirted.  He asked me what kind of kisses I like, and I said, "'I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.'  Susan Sarandon to Kevin Costner, Bull Durham."  Literally. Quotes and all.  After he got back we met for dinner and had a nice time getting to know each other. At least I thought we did. As we walked out to the parking lot he said, "Can I kiss you?" Sure! I was not expecting the death grip on the back of my head and his tongue down my throat.  Things went down hill from there and ended when he sent out his Christmas letter where he talked about the woman he went out with who insisted he buy her dinner and how she was just using him.  Dirty Rat Bastard!!!

Martin - He was a very nice person, but every time we did anything all he talked about was how broke he was. He only wanted to go to the early bird movie, eat at fast food places where he could get a burger for a dollar; and we did have a few nice dinners out, but his constantly being late and constantly whining got to me.  I was glad when he moved to Oregon.  We stayed in contact both via email and Facebook. After the umpteenth time of posting something obnoxious on my wall I deleted him as a friend.

I gave up on online dating for a while... Then I went back to POF, tossed up a minimal profile, and let it be what it was going to be.  That brings me to...

Miguel - "He said his name was a hand-me-down name from of the side of the family that long ago came over here on a boat from somewhere in Spain..."  We went out about 6 times in two weeks; he had a habit of being late. But he was fun.  One evening (Sunday after Thanksgiving, to be precise) we were chatting online. "Hi. What are you doing?" I said. "Getting ready to take a shower. Want to join me?"  Not wanting to go down the road we had not yet traveled, I said, "My son is still here and I'm concerned that your kids will walk in on us. "  He never contacted me again. In fact, 4 days later he posted on his facebook wall, "In a relationship."  Insert <f> word here.  As with Marco, I was the "other woman."

Jack - He is a story all unto himself, and 6'5" of yumminess.  We met 6 months ago on POF. Didn't meet in person until 2 months ago, even though we only live 25 miles apart. We were friends on Facebook the entire time, building a great friendship and getting to know each other.  He is so much fun and always makes me laugh.  One night I was venting on Facebook about my wireless router and my frustration of not being able to make it work. I said, "I think I'll have a glass of wine."  He posted, "Have two. You won't care that it's not working." "Will you join me?"  "I'm quarantined in my man cave."  "It's a self-imposed quarantine, you dork!!!"  The next day I had a dinner invite. OMG! We were actually going to meet face to face! If there is such a thing as love at first sight, he was it!  We spent an hour talking before going to dinner, an hour and a half at dinner, came back to my apartment and spent 3 more hours talking.  It was as if I'd known him all my life.  Later on in the week he posted a picture of posole that he made. I asked if he would cook for me sometime.  Absolutely! How about Saturday? Bring your wine, bring your dog, bring your toothbrush.  I did.  Wow, that was a first.  Two days later I could tell a change in his attitude. A month later he is telling me that although he thought he was ready for a relationship, he really wasn't.  It was the "Dear John" letter that everyone dreads! Heartbroken I just backed away and left him alone.

So needless to say online dating is frustrating. I just met Rick and we went out last night for the first time. I like him... alot... :)

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